Colleen Orchanian

My sister, Theresa, called the other day hoping for some advice from me and others in the family – Mom and Debbie. Her question was, How do I break my addiction to electronics – games, scrolling, etc? Every one of us had the same response – We struggle with that, too! And since we were all in the same boat, we spent some time talking about the problem. Whatever our chosen distraction, most of us wish we had better self-discipline.

When I was a kid, church was different. We acted differently there than anywhere else. We dressed differently, wearing our Sunday best. We even spoke differently, not just the words we said but the way we said them as well. It was not your outside voice. Church was a sacred place. Everyone knew it and it showed in their actions.

Today is different. Our culture is different.

I graduated from college in 1980 with a degree in Women's Studies. It was a new thing back then and the man who would later become my husband asked me if that meant I studied cooking and sewing. (He may have been joking…) At the time, I was interested in equality – in men and women having the same opportunities and rights in the law, work, and so on. My ideal was that each person be empowered to be all they could be.

Applying that idea to a Christian worldview, we desire that each person be all that God created them to be. The word most often associated with this idea of equality is Empowerment, which is defined as the authority or power given to someone to do something.

Most of us have been told at one time or another to try harder. We're working out and the trainer encourages us to try harder—just 2 more reps. We scrubbing the bottom of a pot and it's not working. We want to give up, and we're told to try harder – scrub it a little more. The assumption whenever we hear or think "try harder" is that we have not put in enough effort, and if we did, we would succeed. It's all up to us. The truth is that trying harder doesn't always apply in the spiritual life. 

A few blog posts ago, I talked about the letters to the seven churches in the Book of Revelation. One of the letters was to Laodicea, who Jesus said was lukewarm. The most frequent comment I heard from people who read or listened to that episode was – I wonder if I’m lukewarm. And that made me want to dig a little deeper into what that word means because in every case, the people who wondered if they were lukewarm were not. So why do we sometimes accuse ourselves and what exactly does it mean to be lukewarm?

My sister, Kathy, and her husband Tom are remodeling their bathroom. As they tore out the walls, they found a board with Tom's signature and a date – the date he had remodeled the bathroom 40 years ago. Tom is a tradesman. Before retiring he did siding and roofing, and with every job he signed his work in a place nobody would see.

I have been listening to a podcast about how to hear God’s voice and one of the recommendations is to sit in silence with God and ask Him a particular question: Father, by what name do you call me?

I asked the question and then I listened… and listened… and listened. I thought about the possible names I might hear, like beloved, daughter, dear child. But I didn’t hear those words, even though I knew they were true. When I was ready to give up, figuring that I wouldn’t get a specific answer from God, I heard this name: Unqualified. And I laughed because I knew it was completely true even though it was totally unexpected.

We have many types of relationships. My favorites are and will always be with those people who share a common belief in God – who are God-centered – who I can share my faith with. We have a role to play in those relationships that further the Kingdom. In some relationships, I am a spiritual mother. In others, I am a spiritual sister. And in some, I am a spiritual child. Knowing my role in a relationship helps me serve God and grow spiritually.

When you say "thank you" to a Chick-fil-A team member, you will hear this response: "My pleasure!" And they say it like they mean it. They take seriously the idea of serving cheerfully.

Coincidentally, Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 9:7 that God loves a cheerful giver. So the question is, Are you a cheerful giver? 

A witness in a courtroom is sworn in with the words, "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?" That swearing-in is a procedure reminding the witness that they have a responsibility to tell the truth so that the jury can come to a just decision. Truth matters. Not that we only say what is true, but that we say all that is true, not omitting inconvenient facts. How well do we tell the whole truth about God? 

You've Got Mail is a movie from 1998 with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan about two people who get to know each other through email. They can't wait to find a new message in their email box. Jesus sent messages? The book of Revelation (chapters 2 and 3) records those messages received by John in a vision. There are seven messages, sent to each of the seven churches. The messages encourage, correct, and sometimes chastise and warn. I could have recieved many of these letters at some point in my spiritual journey. What might they be saying to us today?

We often take care to protect our bodies, possessions, and families from the evils of the world. Do we take as much care to protect our souls? Jesus said in Matthew 10:28, Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. So the question is, Are we living dangerously with our souls?

Five-year-old Noah likes to skip steps. When he climbs the stairs, he stretches his little legs to see how many steps he can skip. When he comes down, he likes to jump from the third step all the way to the bottom. There are some areas where skipping steps is a bad idea - like in the spiritual life. 

All of us can say we are not close enough to Christ. We will never be close enough until we leave this life and are fully united to Him in Heaven. Our longing for Him will remain with us while we still have breath. So the idea of not being close enough to Jesus is a given. But there is more.When we are weak or succumb to temptation, we are not close enough to Christ.

I heard this at church the other day: Good Catholics don't offend others. It was stated as a fact – and maybe as a way to encourage others to dismiss the clear teachings of the Church. You could replace Catholic with Christian and it would have the same meaning. A good Christian doesn't offend others. I have been thinking about this and trying to find the truth in the statement because there is some truth to it.

I have been riding motorcycles for over 35 years and I'm very skilled. My husband and I live in the mountains and are used to riding curvy mountain roads. Sometimes we rode with people from Florida who were not used to the curves, so I would lead them through until they felt comfortable going at a faster pace. When they thought they were ready (even if they weren't), they would pass me and take off. That's okay – You do you. I'm here to help, but each rider is responsible for their own ride.

God often takes the same approach with us.

We all like to be encouraged. Maybe we need to be encouraged. Hebrews 10:25 tells us to encourage one another. Encouragement is the action of giving someone support, confidence, or hope.

So when do we need encouragement and how do we do it?

Blessed Failure. Those two words don’t seem to go together. Failure is bad. Blessed is good. Failure means everything went wrong. It was a disaster. A waste of time. A huge embarrassment. Sometimes we want to run away from the situation so we don’t have to face the people who witnessed our great fall. I have rarely felt blessed when I failed.

At the same time, I know that Romans 8:28 says that God uses all things for good for those who love Him. Therefore some good must come out of my failure if I allow God’s grace to work in my life.

When an actor is preparing for a role, they might ask themselves or the director, “What’s my motivation?” They want to know the backstory so they can play the part well.

Sometimes it’s good for us to ask that same question, especially when it comes to our conversations with others.

Some might say, Loving Myself? What’s the big deal about that? I mean, what’s not to love?

Others might think, Loving myself? That’s pretty egotistical. That’s not a good thing!”

Both of those thoughts are off center. Neither is healthy self-love.