Whose Voice Are You Listening To? is a powerful guide to recognizing and overcoming the spiritual attacks that threaten your peace, purpose, and faith. Drawing on the wisdom of the Church and her many years of experience in ministry, Colleen Orchanian teaches how to identify spiritual attacks and fight back with the help of God's grace.
Conversations: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
As we journey through the addiction of someone we love, we have lots of conversations. Some of them are great, meaning they leave us or the other person feeling stronger, or they edify in some way, or they give us peace. Some of them are bad because we get sucked into a dysfunctional loop of craziness. Still others are downright ugly, with accusations, name-calling, and language that hurts to the core. I have been in all of those kinds of conversations. And often the bad ones are not solely because of the other person. I come to the conversation with baggage and with communication patterns that aren't healthy.
Sustained Addiction: A Time for Surrender
Last week I wrote about sustained recovery, when the addict is free from addiction for a sustained time and is growing spiritually and emotionally. I spoke with someone after that episode who said that I had not yet covered the season they are in. They gave me another one - sustained addiction.
Sustained addiction is when you believe the addict will not recover, will not stop, does not see a problem, or cannot stop. You expect them to die with an active addiction. Their health will continue to deteriorate until their body can no longer support them.
Sustained Recovery: They Made It!
Sometimes we are blessed to see the one we love living in sustained recovery. Not everyone makes it here. Some stay in early recovery for decades, until the end of their lives. But what we hope for is that the addict makes it to this healthy, God-centered place of addiction recovery.
So what is sustained recovery? How is it different from early recovery?
Early Recovery: Why Is It So Hard?
In the movie 28 Days, Sandra Bullock plays a woman who goes into rehab for alcohol addiction. She asks her counselor when she can start dating again. He said in the first year, get a plant. If that survives, you can get a pet in the second year. If the pet survives, then you can consider dating.
The counselor is describing early recovery. The addict cannot be in a healthy relationship during this time because they are not yet healed. If you have lived with someone during early recovery, you know this to be true.
Death: Not What We Hoped For
We have been exploring the different times in our relationship with an addict. This post is about what is often the hardest place in the addiction journey. I have not had to bear this suffering, but I know many who have. Many who have lost a child to addiction through death. The addict can die from an overdose, suicide, violence, or accidents. The recovery you prayed for never came, or it came for a short time and then was gone. With death, it's over. In a way. But in another way, it is never over because when someone you love dies, you never fully recover from that. And our grief is more complex when the one who died was suffering from the disease of addiction.