Colleen Orchanian

Most of us have been told at one time or another to try harder. We're working out and the trainer encourages us to try harder—just 2 more reps. We scrubbing the bottom of a pot and it's not working. We want to give up, and we're told to try harder – scrub it a little more. The assumption whenever we hear or think "try harder" is that we have not put in enough effort, and if we did, we would succeed. It's all up to us.

It's true that if I scrub a little harder, the bottom of the pot will shine, and if I push myself, I may be able to get in two more reps. But not everything can be accomplished by trying harder. Spiritually, trying harder doesn't work. Think about the assumption – if I try harder, I will succeed. With that as my foundation, I dismiss the importance of God. My spiritual life and the work I do for the Kingdom depend on me.

In each case, when we follow the "try harder" motto, we are believing a lie of Satan. Let's look at that in some specific areas:

Prayer: Sometimes my prayer life is dry. I get distracted while reading scripture. I can't manage more than a few minutes of silent contemplation. I don't have any good feelings when praying and wonder if I'm wasting my time. There are tons of books about prayer. Maybe one of them will give me the perfect technique I need to have a vibrant prayer life. If I only try a little harder, I can do this prayer thing right.

And there is the lie. I am the one who makes my prayer time fruitful. It's all up to me. The truth is that prayer is a gift of God and I can't manipulate God into giving me a good experience. It's also true that I have some responsibility for my prayer time. I need the right inner disposition, which is humility, openness, and receptivity. And I need to make the time. God can't give me fruitful prayer if I never spend time with Him. It's not about trying harder but being more open to hearing God's voice.

Our Apostolate. An apostolate is the work God has given us to do to build the Kingdom. When things are not going well, we think we need to try harder. The lie we might believe is this: If I am qualified and work hard to do things right, this ministry will be a success. The truth is that the only way I'll have success is if this ministry is God's will at this moment in time. It is His hand driving everything. The most qualified people can fail when the least qualified can succeed.

The truth is written in Acts 5:39. The Pharisees are discussing what to do with the apostles who keep preaching the resurrection of Jesus. Gamaliel says, If it is of God, you will not be able to overthrow them; you might even be found opposing God! This wise Pharisee recognizes that God is the one who is at work, not the apostles.

In the same way, God is the one at work in us. I can try as hard as I like, but if it's not of God, I will not succeed. No well-written plan will work. No perfectly planned meeting will be productive. No good intentions will bring results. That's not to say we shouldn't have a good plan, effective meetings, or good intentions. Those are important. But even more important is God's plan and God's work. When I think it's all up to me, I will have a hard time when I run into difficulties. Trying harder with an apostolate that isn't from God doesn't work.

Overcoming Sin: People with an addiction may think the key to sobriety is self-discipline and willpower. I have to be stronger. I have to figure this out. I have to resist temptation. It's all up to me. God never takes that approach with us. He never says, You figure it out and when you're fixed, come see me. I can't fix myself. Only God can do that. Sometimes surrendering control allows us to release the burden of perfection and the resulting self-hatred that comes when we fall. The truth is that I can't fight sin alone, and God never expects me to. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus told the apostles to pray for themselves so they would not be put to the test. But they fell asleep. They needed the strength that comes from prayer, but maybe something internally made them think they were already strong enough. They didn't need any help. Trying harder to fight sin isn't the answer. Surrendering our weaknesses and failures to God and asking for His mercy and healing is the only way.

Saving Souls: Here are some of the lies we can hear about trying harder: Maybe if I knew better how to respond to questions and attacks. If I were more courageous in talking to people about God. If I wasn't afraid to invite people to church. If I could only overcome my embarrassment about praying with someone. Then I could get this person I love back to church. I just need to try harder. The truth is that God is the savior of souls, not me. I play a part, but the hard work is done by the Holy Spirit. My job is to listen to His promptings and dare to act on them.

Intercessory Prayer: Some lies we might hear about trying harder here are: If I pray the right way, with the perfect words, and with enough emotion, God will answer my prayer. If I ask for the intercession of the right saint, pray enough rosaries, and fast the right way, God will hear and answer me. I just have to find the right combination so God will say yes. The truth is that we can't manipulate God. He always hears our prayers. He may not answer them in the time frame we want or the way we want, but he always hears. He knows the best time to act. And sometimes, as Garth Brooks says, we find ourselves thankful for unanswered prayers because they were not good for us. Intercessory prayers are not answered because I try harder. They are answered because God wills it in His perfect time. I have to pray. I have to ask for God to help me and those I love. Then I leave the rest up to God. Trying harder won't work.

In all of these examples, our belief about trying harder conveys three lies:

1. It's all up to me. Success or failure depends on my effort.

2. I can convince God to do what I want. Then I win.

3. When things don't work out, it's my fault. Shame on me.

Those lies focus on me and not on the power and greatness of God. When we reject the lies, we are free of the pressure to go it alone. We stop beating ourselves up when we have a setback. We surrender our plans and our dreams to God. We trust Him to do what is best and to guide our steps each day. It is so much easier this way.

So, when you think you have to try harder, take that into prayer. Ask God if you're trying to go it alone. Find out what lies you are believing and then reject those lies. The truth is better. The truth will set you free!

Questions for prayer:

1. Where do you think you need to try harder? Is there a lie you believe? If so, how would it be different if you rejected that lie?

2. When you mistakenly believe you have to try harder, is it because you doubt yourself or because you doubt God? Or maybe a little of both?