Distractions
My sister, Theresa, called the other day hoping for some advice from me and others in the family – Mom and Debbie. Her question was, How do I break my addiction to electronics – games, scrolling, etc? Every one of us had the same response – We struggle with that, too! And since we were all in the same boat, we spent some time talking about the problem. Whatever our chosen distraction, most of us wish we had better self-discipline.
Even the Apostle Paul wrote about this challenge. He said in Romans 17:15, I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. This is one way that I am a lot like Paul. And so are Theresa, Mom, and Debbie. We might have good intentions to spend time in prayer or spiritual reading, but somehow we end up doing something else – something without much value. It's frustrating. And I am disappointed in myself when I give in to the distraction.
As I took this to prayer after our family conversation, I asked myself a few questions. I know that distractions are a spiritual attack. Anything that pulls my attention away from God comes from the enemy. But why does this particular attack and this particular distraction work so well on me? Until I understand that, I think I'll continue to struggle. And maybe if I understand the why, I can know what remedies will work.
Here are some questions I brought to prayer that might help you explore your unique spiritual distraction.
Why do I hate it? Paul said: I do what I hate. So why do I hate it? I have many reasons. Online games and scrolling are mind-numbing – and I think they are designed that way. It takes little brain power. I can get into a zombie state, very focused on the game to the exclusion of anything else. It causes physical harm to my body. It affects my eyesight if I focus on the screen for too long. Sometimes I get a headache. Other times a backache from keeping my head down to see the screen. And I hate it because I have a lot on my plate, and wasting time with something mindless only increases the stress about finishing my to-do list.
If I hate it because it is mind-numbing, and I do it anyway, is there something I'm trying to numb? People with an addiction to drugs and alcohol are trying to numb some kind of pain in their lives. When they drink or use drugs, they forget about the pain for a little while. When they begin recovery, sobriety will be more likely if they learn to deal with the reason they want to be numbed.
What is the attraction? I enjoy the games I play – at least for a short time. I like it when I do well. As a matter of fact, if I don't do well in a particular game, I won't continue playing it. There is a sense of achievement with the games. I won! Yay! At the same time, I know the meaninglessness of this accomplishment. Who cares if I got first place in the game? It probably means that I spend way too much time on it. So there is a lie in the attraction I have. And Satan is the father of lies.
What triggers the desire to play? Is it a habit that I do every day at 8:00? Is it triggered when I'm tired and don't have the energy to do much else but I don't want to go to sleep? Is it when I'm frustrated with a family situation that I want to avoid? Or maybe there is a task or project that is difficult and I procrastinate. I should be writing but I'm not inspired so I allow the distraction instead.
Those are all diagnosis questions. Why this? Why me? I want to get to the root cause. In business, when you have a failure, you look at the root cause. If you don't get to the root cause, the problem will remain. It's like taking cough medicine for a year to cover up the symptoms but not looking for the underlying problem to solve.
Let's say that you answered the "why" questions about your particular distraction. You know your triggers and why you want to resist. The next series of questions is the "how" – How can I change my patterns of behavior and resist the temptations that are so strong?
Often our first strategy is to use willpower. I just won't do it. I'll just say No. I will try harder. If only that worked! In some areas, I have great willpower and in other areas, I stink. I have to admit my weakness. I have to bring it before God and ask for His help. Maybe I have to ask another person for help as well. We have parental controls on my grandson's tablet. I can put them on mine. But then, I'll have the option to change the controls, which I'm likely to do if I want more game time. I might ask my husband to set the controls and not tell me the password. It requires some humility. After all, I'm a grown woman. Do I really need to give control to someone else? Sometimes I do.
Another strategy for resistance – and we need many – is to pay attention to the voices we hear. There are voices before we indulge. Those voices can talk us into or out of something. For example, on my way home from work, I think about going to a Bible Study at church. But then I think, I'm tired tonight. I can skip one week. And I have to clean out my sock drawer. I can just read it on my own. Yeah. I think I'll skip it. I can change my mind in less than a minute. But, if I am paying attention to the voices, I might realize that I am being spiritually attacked. As soon as I do, I counter the attack with truth. I'm tired, but I will get energized with the group. Sure I can skip a week, but I'll miss so much and I need it. My sock drawer can wait. I need the Bible study.
Maybe I need some motivation to help me resist. Who or what can I offer up this sacrifice for? It is a sacrifice – I'm not doing what I want to do. So why not offer it up? In the family call with Theresa, we agreed that we would offer up our resistance for each other – to strengthen each other. Then it becomes not just something I'm doing for myself – because it benefits me to resist – but I'm also doing it for others. Frankly, I'm more motivated to do it for someone else.
Whatever our strategies for resistance, we want to consider what will replace the distraction. In Matthew 12:43-45, we read about the demon who is cast out but then returns with seven more demons. He comes back because the space is empty. If I put aside my electronics, I will have free time. How will I use it? If I fill that time with another distraction, what good will that do me? I need to fill it with God. I need to do something that will draw me closer to God. The devil is attacking because he wants to prevent that. He's going to offer me another distraction that will have the same effect as the last one. Consciously choosing something positive, holy, uplifting, enlightening – that's going to make a difference.
Finally, it's likely that, even with our best efforts, we will fail at times. I will spend more time than allotted on mindless diversions. That's a win for Satan, but he wants even more wins. I might hear the voice telling me what little faith I have, how weak I am, how selfish I am because I allowed the distraction. When I buy into that, it can lead to self-hatred. That never comes from God. For me, when I've spent hours gaming, and turn things off for the night. I bring my frustration and disappointment to God, and he so often has showered down consolations on me. It's like He's saying to me, I've been waiting for you. I have all this grace for you. I don't deserve it, but it's there. And I am blessed, not because I wasted all that time, but because I know God will be there when I finally stop. That makes me want to resist more the next time.
I'm thankful that Theresa shared her challenge with us. Not just because I got a podcast and blog out of it, but because it gave me a desire to explore this mystery in my own heart. I pray that this reflection blesses you also. May you better understand the distraction that attracts you, and know how to resist it in the future.
Questions for prayer:
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What distraction is most tempting to you? Where is the enemy attacking? Why does this work?
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What steps can you take to resist the distraction? If you are successful, how might that impact your spiritual life?