Colleen Orchanian

I'm reading a book called Humility Rules by Fr. Augustine Wetta. The subtitle is St. Benedict's 12-Step Guide to Genuine Self-Esteem. The title doesn't seem to make sense. How can humility lead to self-esteem?

I had friends over for dinner to get input on my next book about spiritual warfare. Spiritual warfare is the daily battle we fight to grow in holiness and save souls – ours and those of the people we love. The battle part comes from the devil trying to prevent that from happening.

Maggie likes to make bucket lists. She's 14. That seems a bit young for a bucket list, but it works for her. She has one for every season. It usually has things like having sleepovers with friends, taking pictures at a pumpkin patch, going to the pool at least 5 times, taking a trip to the beach, etc.

I've never written a bucket list, but Maggie got me thinking about a different kind of list – a Spiritual Bucket List. A regular bucket list is usually things you want to do before you die – places to go, experiences to have, and so on. A spiritual bucket list is similar – what spiritual experiences do I want before I die?

I have many friends and relatives who are caring for elderly parents or sick spouses. That kind of caregiving is very draining, both physically and emotionally. It requires the best of us when we're exhausted, which is tough. I am not at my best when I'm tired. Self-care is the key – taking care of our body, mind, and soul so that we can care for those we love when the demand is great.

Rushing is a normal response to time pressures, even though it's not very effective. I know that from experience, yet I often find that I, like the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland, am hurrying in mind and body. Sometimes I have to remind myself to slow down and breathe.

I have been thinking about grace, and how the unlimited grace God makes available to each person. These days I can recognize grace in my life. I have the grace of a long marriage, the grace of motherhood, the grace to serve in different ways in my church, and the grace to do this podcast and write books. It's crazy the amount of grace in my life – like an explosion of grace.

I often invite people to join a group at church or attend a retreat or event, and sometimes the response I get is – My plate is too full. I know that feeling. There have been many times in my life that my plate has been overflowing and I'm feeling a lot of stress. I want the world to stop for just a bit so I can get caught up. Unfortunately, I have never been able to make that happen, so I have to find another way to deal with the load.

I told a friend that I was doing a retreat near her home and she suggested we meet afterwards. Then she asked – Do you think you'll be too tired? That would make sense. It takes energy to lead a retreat. When I was in the training business, I led corporate workshops and was usually exhausted at the end of the day. But when I finish a retreat at church, the opposite happens. I am energized. It takes a while for me to settle down afterward. It's not until much later that I feel spent.

My father was a deacon in the Catholic church for many years before he died. I remember his ordination and the words the Bishop said when giving Dad the Book of the Gospels: The bishop placed the Book in Dad's hands and said, “Receive the Gospel of Christ, whose herald you have become. Believe what you read, teach what you believe, and practice what you teach.” Those words apply to all believers.

In Matthew 25:31-46 Jesus teaches that we are to be His hands and feet. "Truly I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these, you did it to me." That sounds great in theory, but in application, it's not so easy. He is telling us that each person we encounter – whether someone we live with or work with or someone we run into at the store – we are to treat as if they are Jesus Himself.

My sister, Theresa, called the other day hoping for some advice from me and others in the family – Mom and Debbie. Her question was, How do I break my addiction to electronics – games, scrolling, etc? Every one of us had the same response – We struggle with that, too! And since we were all in the same boat, we spent some time talking about the problem. Whatever our chosen distraction, most of us wish we had better self-discipline.

When I was a kid, church was different. We acted differently there than anywhere else. We dressed differently, wearing our Sunday best. We even spoke differently, not just the words we said but the way we said them as well. It was not your outside voice. Church was a sacred place. Everyone knew it and it showed in their actions.

Today is different. Our culture is different.

I graduated from college in 1980 with a degree in Women's Studies. It was a new thing back then and the man who would later become my husband asked me if that meant I studied cooking and sewing. (He may have been joking…) At the time, I was interested in equality – in men and women having the same opportunities and rights in the law, work, and so on. My ideal was that each person be empowered to be all they could be.

Applying that idea to a Christian worldview, we desire that each person be all that God created them to be. The word most often associated with this idea of equality is Empowerment, which is defined as the authority or power given to someone to do something.

Most of us have been told at one time or another to try harder. We're working out and the trainer encourages us to try harder—just 2 more reps. We scrubbing the bottom of a pot and it's not working. We want to give up, and we're told to try harder – scrub it a little more. The assumption whenever we hear or think "try harder" is that we have not put in enough effort, and if we did, we would succeed. It's all up to us. The truth is that trying harder doesn't always apply in the spiritual life. 

A few blog posts ago, I talked about the letters to the seven churches in the Book of Revelation. One of the letters was to Laodicea, who Jesus said was lukewarm. The most frequent comment I heard from people who read or listened to that episode was – I wonder if I’m lukewarm. And that made me want to dig a little deeper into what that word means because in every case, the people who wondered if they were lukewarm were not. So why do we sometimes accuse ourselves and what exactly does it mean to be lukewarm?

My sister, Kathy, and her husband Tom are remodeling their bathroom. As they tore out the walls, they found a board with Tom's signature and a date – the date he had remodeled the bathroom 40 years ago. Tom is a tradesman. Before retiring he did siding and roofing, and with every job he signed his work in a place nobody would see.

I have been listening to a podcast about how to hear God’s voice and one of the recommendations is to sit in silence with God and ask Him a particular question: Father, by what name do you call me?

I asked the question and then I listened… and listened… and listened. I thought about the possible names I might hear, like beloved, daughter, dear child. But I didn’t hear those words, even though I knew they were true. When I was ready to give up, figuring that I wouldn’t get a specific answer from God, I heard this name: Unqualified. And I laughed because I knew it was completely true even though it was totally unexpected.

We have many types of relationships. My favorites are and will always be with those people who share a common belief in God – who are God-centered – who I can share my faith with. We have a role to play in those relationships that further the Kingdom. In some relationships, I am a spiritual mother. In others, I am a spiritual sister. And in some, I am a spiritual child. Knowing my role in a relationship helps me serve God and grow spiritually.

When you say "thank you" to a Chick-fil-A team member, you will hear this response: "My pleasure!" And they say it like they mean it. They take seriously the idea of serving cheerfully.

Coincidentally, Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 9:7 that God loves a cheerful giver. So the question is, Are you a cheerful giver? 

A witness in a courtroom is sworn in with the words, "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?" That swearing-in is a procedure reminding the witness that they have a responsibility to tell the truth so that the jury can come to a just decision. Truth matters. Not that we only say what is true, but that we say all that is true, not omitting inconvenient facts. How well do we tell the whole truth about God?