Colleen Orchanian

One of the questions in the Baltimore Catechism was: Why did God make you? The answer was: God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him forever in the next".

That’s why God made me, and why He made you, and why He made every other human being ever born. So how do I come to know him and love him and serve him? It is through other people – the relationships in our lives.

We have many types of relationships. My favorites are and will always be with those people who share a common belief in God – who are God-centered – who I can share my faith with. We have a role to play in those relationships that further the Kingdom. In some relationships, I am a spiritual mother. In others, I am a spiritual sister. And in some, I am a spiritual child. Knowing my role in a relationship helps me serve God and grow spiritually.

Spiritual Parent

The Apostle Paul considered himself a spiritual father (see 1 Corinthians 4:15). Mary, the mother of Jesus, was given to the Apostle John at the cross to be his mother. Those are just two examples of spiritual parents in Scripture. What does a mother or father do? They give life, nurture, guide, advise, teach. They help others mature spiritually. They act as a role model for their spiritual children, showing the way to holiness. They pray constantly and offer up sacrifices for their children.

A good spiritual parent nurtures their own faith as they nurture the faith of their spiritual children. They desire what is best for the child – a profound relationship with God – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. They can correct and redirect in a way that works. Sometimes that means a harsh word and other times a gentle word. Good coaches know their players and how to get the best from them. Good spiritual parents are the same.

Think about the relationships that you have where you are a spiritual parent. Someone is looking to you for help. They trust you and believe that you know something, you have experienced things they haven’t. You'll help them grow. You suggest, you offer, you encourage, you warn. And you don't take it personally when the child doesn't take your advice.

Think and pray about who looks to you as a spiritual parent. How are you filling that role?

Spiritual Sister or Brother

Our role as spiritual siblings is different from parents. We are equals. And so we walk with each other, we encourage and challenge. There is a give and take. Sometimes we are ahead and other times we are behind. But we're journeying together. Proverbs 27:17 tells us that iron sharpens iron. That's what we're doing with our spiritual brothers and sisters. We trying to make each other better, draw each other closer to God, share our highs and lows, celebrate successes, and mourn losses. There is a sense that we're in this together.

We can have many spiritual brothers and sisters. The entire church is our family – our brothers and sisters. Jesus said in Matthew 12:48-50: The one who does the will of the Father is my brother or sister or mother. So we seek out brothers and sisters who seem to be on the same path – trying to grow closer to God – trying to fight the good fight.

I have blood sisters who are also spiritual sisters and I have spiritual sisters who are not blood sisters. Or maybe they are blood sisters because of the blood of Christ. I love my conversations with these sisters whose lives are God-centered. I need these sisters, these relationships because it's hard to go it alone. I am energized when we get together. It's like getting a shot of the Holy Spirit, and who doesn't want that?

Think about your spiritual siblings. Who are they? How did they develop? Why did God bring you together? How can you nurture those relationships? Maybe you want more of them. Don't be afraid to reach out and initiate a new relationship.

SpiritualChildren

Jesus said that we must become like little children to enter the kingdom of Heaven. This can be a hard role to play (Matthew 18:3). When we grow up, we don't want to be a child again. We want to do things our own way. But Jesus said, no, become like a little child. He calls us to become docile to the spiritual parents in our lives. Let them nurture us. We don't have to be strong all the time. Let them teach us. We don't yet know everything (although I thought I did when I was 18). Let them share their experiences so we can learn from them. We don't have to make the same mistakes they did.

This role may be the one we resist the most, but when we think of Jesus, we might be more willing to surrender our self-sufficiency to allow others to parent us and share their wisdom. After all, Jesus became a little child. God Himself was obedient to his parents, Mary and Joseph. Why can't we do that?

Pride is the biggest obstacle in every spiritual relationship, and that means the devil is at work. If I am a spiritual parent, my pride might cause me to think too highly of myself because I'm such a good parent. If I am a spiritual sister, my pride can lead me to see the relationship in unequal terms – I'm the greater of the siblings. If I am called to be a spiritual child, my pride can keep me from humbling myself to admit that I am not there yet and that I need to be nurtured.

I want all of these kinds of relationships. They are all important. We indeed walk with God all the time, but He also sends others to us throughout our lives to walk with us – to speak His words to us – to love us through them, and to love them through us. Some of these people will be in our life for a moment – maybe a weekend retreat – and others will be there for much longer. Every single spiritual relative is a gift from God. And we are blessed by them– and we hope to be a blessing to them as well.

Always remember that God made you to know him, love him, and serve him in this life. He sent people to help you in that mission and people who you will help in their mission. Treasure always these spiritual relationships that help us and others be with God forever in the next life. 

Questions for Prayer:

1. Which spiritual role are you most energized by?

2. Which spiritual role are you most resistant to and why?

3. Are you in need of someone to accompany you in one of these roles? Ask God to show you who that person is for you.