Colleen Orchanian

I am a writer. I've written 3 books and am working on the fourth. Sometimes in my writing, I have a lot of ideas but they don't make sense. It's more like a brain dump or stream of consciousness. I can get very discouraged when facing a deadline and the words are not coming easily. It's too hard. I don't know enough. I don't even know what the message should be. Does this even make a difference to anyone? I should give up. That's discouragement.

All of us experience discouragement in our lives. There is no happily ever after until we get to Heaven. Here on earth, we will have struggles. The enemy of our souls uses these struggles to attack us with discouragement. He wants to slow us down or get us to stop doing something that brings us and others closer to God. Prayer. The sacraments. Service. Patience in difficulties. Kindness to others who are not kind to us.

St. Juan Diego, the visionary who saw Our Lady of Guadalupe, faced discouragement. He was told by Our Lady to bring a message to the Bishop. But Juan was a poor peasant farmer. The Bishop wouldn't listen to him, so Juan returned to Mary and explained the situation. It was then that she gave him the miraculous image on the tilma. Mary helped him overcome his discouragement and do God's will. The miracle opened the eyes of the Bishop and became the source of conversion for millions.

Like St. Juan Diego, we can become discouraged. We are certain that we're not capable of whatever God has asked us to do. But, also like this peasant saint, we bring that discouragement to God and trust in His grace.

Why do we get discouraged by obstacles? Sometimes we doubt ourselves. God often asks us to do something that we are unqualified for. I much prefer working within my skill set, but God may try to stretch me at times. If I think I don't know what I'm doing, I will get discouraged. At the same time, it indicates a lack of trust in God. If I expect to do it all myself, I will fail. If I know that God is in charge and entrust my work to Him, I will not get discouraged.

Here are some situations that are likely to cause discouragement, when the enemy can slow us down or tempt us to give up:

• Overwhelming demands. My mother had 11 children. There were times when she was discouraged. It was mass chaos every day. As a child, it was fun, but as a parent, I would have struggled. Parents with special needs children are often overwhelmed. Caregivers to elderly parents or loved ones with dementia can feel overwhelmed. How much more can one person take? We might wonder, Does God even care? That's a spiritual attack.

• Humiliations. When we are embarrassed, we might want to become invisible. We get discouraged about our failure and want to quit. That's how I felt the first time I taught a business class. I was terrible and afterwards, I wanted to give up teaching. I didn't want to face any of those people ever again. But I had to figure out what I had done wrong and return the next day to finish the workshop. I had to overcome discouragement, acknowledge my mistakes, and get back in the classroom.

• Roadblocks. Every apostolate or mission has challenges. We get frustrated and the devil comes in to discourage—Give up. It's not meant to be. It's not worth the trouble. We don't have to listen to that voice. Instead, we can surrender the problem to God. If this is His project, He will make it happen. St. Faustina was given a mission to spread the message of Divine Mercy. She faced countless roadblocks, which surely frustrated her. But in the end, this was God's work and she persevered—sometimes very boldly — until the mission was achieved.

• Rejection. I know several people who applied to seminary or the diaconate and were rejected. These are men who wanted to give their lives to the Lord and were told no or not yet. It feels like a slap in the face. And the devil is right there to attack with discouragement. You're not good enough. You didn't discern well. Your life plan was totally wrong. You have to start over. Maybe you should leave the Church because they don't want you.

• Addiction. We or one we love has an addiction. My dad was an alcoholic. He had many moments of discouragement. At one point he asked God to either kill him or help him stop drinking. God heard his prayer and my dad never drank again. We can also become discouraged when our child or spouse has an addiction. How much more can we bear? We may get to the point of hopelessness and give up praying for them. That's how you know the devil has won that battle – when we stop praying.

• Suffering. Some of us experience great suffering, as did many holy saints. When we suffer physically or emotionally, we are tempted to give up. Satan discourages us with lies about ourselves (You deserve this. You are not loved. You are all alone.) and lies about God (He doesn't love you. He is punishing you. Don't trust God.) If we suffer in our marriage, we hear lies about our spouse (He doesn't love you. You don't deserve him. You should leave this marriage.) Discouragement is an easy attack for those who suffer.

Why does the devil use discouragement? Because God has a plan for us and the devil wants to block it. He doesn't want us to trust in God. He doesn't want us to see a difficulty resolved by God's grace. He doesn't want us to pray in times of trouble. He doesn't want our mission to succeed. What is our mission? To bring ourselves and others to heaven.

So what do we do?

First, discern well God's will for our lives. If I am facing hardship in a particular endeavor, is that from God or the devil? Maybe my great idea didn't come from God. It is a distraction from my true God-given mission. The difficulties are coming because I am working on the wrong thing. Or I have discerned well what God wants and the devil is throwing up obstacles to slow me down. So the first question is, What is God's will for me right now?

At this point, there are two paths. If I discern that I am, in fact, doing God's will, the discouragement is from the enemy, and I keep pushing through the challenges. If I discern that I am not doing God's will, then it's okay to quit. It doesn't make me a quitter, although that kind of spiritual attack is common. I'm not quitting out of frustration or discouragement. Rather, I have discerned that God has something else for me.

Maybe you know you're doing what God wants, but it's just so hard. How do you overcome the discouragement? Don't be afraid to ask for help—from friends and God. Confide in a trusted friend. Pray for the grace to persevere. And, as always, identify the lies you're hearing (about yourself, God, and others) and replace them with God's truth.

If discouragement is a common attack for you, be curious about why. Why are you so often discouraged? Remember the three distortion attacks: Distorted image of myself, of God, and others. Which identity is most distorted? Seek healing in that identity, so discouragement is less effective in the future.

God calls us to work and pray. The devil uses discouragement to prevent both activities. We don't have to fall for that trick. We can reject the lies of discouragement and embrace the possibilities. God can accomplish miracles with the least gifted person. And when we succeed, we will know that it was by God's power and not our own work.

Questions for prayer:

1. How frequently do you experience discouragement? When is that attack most effective and why?

2. What trusted friend can help you through times of discouragement? How can you enlist their help?