Colleen Orchanian

Do you remember the COVID lockdown days? Everyone was masked so you couldn't see people's faces. Most of us didn't go to school or work. Churches were closed. We lost community and it resulted in an increase in mental health problems (among other things). We were isolated and lonely. It seemed that the entire world was under spiritual attack. And maybe it was.

Isolation is a very effective attack. We are made for community, and when that community is gone, we suffer. COVID was an example of widespread isolation, but we can experience that on a much smaller, individual scale. For example:

• A woman loses her husband of many years. They did everything together for most of her life. She feels lost without him and doesn't want to be around other people.

• A man suffers from depression and anxiety. He can't tell anyone about it, so he just goes to work and home, never venturing out. Although he is married, he never shares the struggle with his wife because he doesn't want to burden her. He feels all alone.

• A woman is grieving over yet another miscarriage. Friends invite her out but she would rather be alone. Nobody understands her pain.

• A man moves to start a new job. He's not very outgoing and has no friends. He spends his free time alone and lonely, with nothing to do but watch TV and scroll the internet.

• A woman is a full-time caregiver to her elderly mother. They live in the country, with no nearby neighbors. She can't leave her mother alone and feels isolated with no friends.

• A recently divorced man is embarrassed about his wife leaving. He sits alone at church and imagines that people are talking about him. Every day he retreats more and more into himself.

All of these situations are ripe for a spiritual attack of isolation. Sometimes the isolation is imposed on us (as with COVID) and other times it is a result of life circumstances. Whatever the cause, isolation is a challenge. God said in Genesis, It is not good for man to be alone. And Paul wrote in Hebrews 10:25, Don't neglect to come together as some do.

There are two kinds of isolation. One is spiritual isolation, when we are isolated from the body of Christ. When you move to a new town and don't yet have a home church, you might experience spiritual isolation. We need our brothers and sisters in Christ to continually draw us closer to God. Satan's goal is to keep us focused on something other than God.

The other type is human isolation, when we are alone or nearly alone, with no personal connections. We need other people, even if it's just one person. We need to feel seen and heard. To know that we are on someone's radar. To know that we matter. Satan's goal here is to distort our self-image so we don't see ourselves as beloved children of God.

Why is it important to recognize isolation as a spiritual attack? Because it gives us perspective about why it's happening, which helps identify the lies that lead us into isolation and loneliness. Lies like: Nobody cares about me. I don't need anyone. No one likes me. No one understands me. I don't fit in anywhere. God should be all I need. No one wants to be bothered with my problems.

Being alone is good. Jesus frequently went off alone to speak to the Father. Many saints chose to live as hermits, away from the world, offering their lives to God in prayer. Other saints have been forced into isolation. St. Patrick was captured as a teen and forced into slavery as a shepherd. His time of isolation led to holiness and he converted all of Ireland. Cardinal Van Thuan spent 9 years in solitary confinement in Vietnam. His story is told in the book, The Road of Hope. Isolation is used as a punishment but can bring a person into a deeper relationship with God.

In these cases – and sometimes with us – the spiritual attack of isolation has the opposite effect desired by Satan. Instead of breaking us and leading to a loss of faith, the opposite happens and the soul becomes a saint. Isolation and loneliness, when used against us, can backfire on the devil. We don't need to despair.

Is isolation really a spiritual attack? How can I know if God or Satan is working? When God calls us to isolation, we feel a yearning to be with Him. We are drawn into isolation so that we can better commune with God. When Satan calls us to isolation, it is more about ourselves. We're tired of the world and its frustrations. We are hurt and want to withdraw from the source of the hurt. We are shrinking away from the world rather than expanding our hearts to receive God. Is my desire to be alone or to be with God? For me, I know sometimes I just want to be alone.

When I discern this type of spiritual attack, I can respond and fight. And the sooner I discern, the better, because the more isolated I get, the harder it is to overcome. I don't feel like going out one day, and then the next and the next and the next. Before you know it, I haven't left my home in a month. I don't answer my phone. The only interaction I have is with the person delivering my meals or groceries. Quickly recognizing the attack makes a big difference.

Then you want to be curious about why this attack. Why isolation? What is Satan keeping you from? Is it intimacy with your spouse? Is it connection with your church family? Is it distancing you from someone who needs you? Is it to make you feel unloved and forgotten by God? Is it to stoke self-pity and resentment? Take this into prayer. Be curious about Satan's goal. Then do the opposite. For example, if you discern that the goal is to keep you from church, go to church. Maybe even go to church more than once a week. If the goal is to create conflict with your spouse, make an act of love each day.

Once you discern that you are under attack, there are four things you can do.

1. Pray. Send up prayers of petition asking for the graces you need in the moment. Things like patience, courage, peace, forgiveness, love.

2. Ask others to pray for you. You don't need to explain why. Just let others know that you need prayer.

3. Say YES to invitations. Maybe that person has been sent to you by God as a way out of your isolation.

4. Phone a friend. Choose someone who is a good listener. This friend will not replace God (because nobody can) but they will show God to you, open your eyes to the love God has for you, and help you feel God's presence in your life. They can encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and be with other people. There is someone in your life right now like that. God has arranged this. They may not live nearby, but they are available to you. Find them. Share your struggles and open your heart to how God can work through them to bring you out of isolation.

If you often face this kind of attack, consider getting a spiritual director who can help you find healing so that you are not so easily affected by loneliness and isolation. You can also join a small group at church, an online prayer group, or a support group. Commit to be somewhere on a regular basis.

COVID is over. Let us not live as if we are still there, as if others will endanger our lives. We need others to show us God and others need us to do the same. Don't let the devil win this one!

Questions for prayer:

1. What do you believe about yourself that keeps you in isolation? What are the lies in your beliefs?

2. What do you believe about others that leads you to self-isolate? Which of those might be lies?

3. What is one step you can take to get out of isolation? Who can help you?