Colleen Orchanian

Surely you have heard the phrase – “older and wiser.” It conveys the idea that as we age, we gain wisdom. In reality, we all know people who are old and not very wise. They seem to make the same mistakes over and over again. From that, we can conclude that age alone doesn’t make us wiser. It’s something else. Wisdom comes when we learn from our life experiences. Applied to the spiritual life, we can ponder how to become older and wiser in the ways of God. 

At a recent Mass, my pastor, Fr. Mario, said, “God waits.” Those two words – God waits – led me to ponder how often God has waited on me. He is like a loving parent whose child insists on doing something by himself in his own way, even when his little hands cannot do it. But the parent waits patiently, sometimes making a suggestion. Yet the child rejects any help whatsoever. Eventually the child comes to realize that they actually do need help, and the parent is ready. The parent waits. Our Father God waits. Patiently.

Each of us as Christians is always facing some kind of spiritual attack. Why? Because the enemy of our souls does not want us to grow closer to God, to become holy, to be living saints in the world. If we are going to fight the good fight, we need to know how the enemy attacks, both in general – meaning with everyone – and specifically with each of us as individuals. Then we need to respond and resist those attacks. 

Because I know that God is active in my life, I know that there are no chance encounters. Each of the people is in my life for a reason. Each person I have encountered was either sent by God for my benefit or theirs, or sent by the enemy to keep me from knowing and serving God. (And God can use even those sent by the enemy.)

I went to confession recently and spoke to the priest about a difficult relationship. He said that God was using that person to polish me. I don’t like being polished. This idea of being polished reminds me of the original Karate Kid movie. There is a scene where the kid is waxing the car – wax on, wax off. He thinks it’s a waste of time, but later realizes that waxing the car taught him a move helpful in karate. My polishing has the same effect. It strengthens me in my walk as a Christian.

There is a line in the movie The Wild One with Marlon Brando. Marlon's character is asked, "What are you rebelling against, Johnny?" His response: "Whaddaya got?" That line came to mind recently as I thought about rebellion. Psalm 78 talks about a rebellious generation – a generation rebelling against God. Sometimes I wonder if I am part of that rebellious generation. Or maybe it is all generations who rebel. After all, Adam and Eve started it with the rebellion in the Garden of Eden. And we continue it today, thousands of years later.

So what are we rebelling against? There are three possibilities: the world, someone in authority, and God.

We know that name-calling is bad. We shouldn’t do it. It’s mean and can cause emotional harm to another person. It rejects the dignity of another human being by labeling them as something bad – by judging them and giving them a negative identity. We don’t do that – I hope – and we might even correct others who do. We are much more likely to direct name-calling to ourselves. When we do that we are being mean to ourselves. We are causing or increasing the emotional harm to ourselves. We are rejecting our own dignity. We are labeling ourselves as something bad – and accepting a negative identity – an identity that is not true.

We once had a silky terrier named Caesar and a Doberman named Brutus. Caesar weight about 12 pounds and Brutus weighed much more. Caesar did not know he was a little dog. He thought he could take on Brutus, but that didn’t work out so well. Caesar did not have self-knowledge. But then, he was a dog, so that’s to be expected. We humans are a different story. We need self-knowledge to grow. St. Augustine said, "Self-knowledge is the crucial first step towards knowledge of God." So if I want to know God, I must first know myself.

Vain Imaginings. Maybe you have never heard that phrase. It was new to me in the last year. I’m sorry I can’t recall where I first heard it. In a nutshell, vain imaginings are when we daydream about an imaginary situation in which we ourselves look really good. I do sometimes laugh at the ridiculous scenarios that come to mind during my imaginings. But there is more that’s not so funny, and I believe it is a tool of the enemy – of Satan – to stoke our pride and create tension in our relationships.

"Take it to prayer." Has someone ever said that to you? I tend to say it a lot these days and only recently had the thought that maybe the other person doesn't actually know how to do that. It wasn't long ago when I would have struggled to understand what that meant as well. How many Hail Mary's did I need to pray? How many rosaries? Do I need to do a Novena? What does it mean to take something to prayer?

Awesome! I’ve heard that word used a lot – for a lot of different things. This cheesecake is awesome. That football game was awesome. You are an awesome wife. When we use that word, it’s because we think something is exceptional. But the actual definition of the word “awesome” gives us a deeper meaning. Here’s what the dictionary says: exhibiting or marked by awe; showing reverence, admiration, or fear. Another definition I found for AWE is a feeling of reverential respect mixed with fear or wonder. How do you experience the Awe of God?

How can we help someone love God? There are many approaches - good ones and bad ones. The key is to never give up on them. Never surrender to the lie that they are lost forever. Here are some ideas to help you discern how to work with God for those you love.

My sister and her husband bought a house they refer to as the Money Pit. They knew when they bought it that it would cost a lot to fix things, and they were right. It’s a fixer upper. They could see the potential even when it looked pretty bad, and they were willing to invest the time and money to make it a beautiful home. God is like that with us. We are the fixer uppers and he sees our potential.

If you are a parent, you may remember that first step taken by your child. When trying to teach them to walk, you didn’t start by telling them to walk across the room. You got close to them and said, come to mommy. You were encouraging them to take just one step. God is like that with us. He doesn’t give us a long list of things we need to fix in ourselves – and for me it would be a really long list. he tells us to start with just one step. He doesn’t usually give us a huge project to accomplish. He gives us just one step.

I used to say that my dad had some rough edges. Don’t get me wrong, he loved God and served him well for many, many years. But he was still a little rough around the edges. If someone asked him to do something that he thought they should not have asked, he would tell me with annoyance, Why do they need that? I’m not going to do that. Of course, later he would go ahead and do whatever he was asked. It was like the story Jesus told about the two sons. The father asks each of them to do something. One son says he will do it but doesn’t, and the other son says he won’t do it but actually does it anyway. Dad was the second son. He often said what he thought, sometimes before thinking about it. That’s why I say he was a little rough around the edges.