You Did That On Purpose!
"You did that on purpose!" I've heard that before. My husband once accused me of doing something just to make him angry. I responded, "Yeah. I stay awake at night just thinking of things I can do to annoy you." He laughed at the absurdity of that statement. Sometimes it's true, though, that we think people are doing something on purpose. And not in a good way.
What's a good way? Today is Noah's eighth birthday, and I have tried to make it special. We did things he likes. His sister brought him to Waffle House, which is a treat for him. I brought him to the park to play in the creek. He got to choose what we would have for dinner. (He asked for jambalaya, but meant to say Red Beans and Rice.) And he had a birthday cake and presents. All of that was intentional so that he felt special today.
This week's message is about intentionality. Doing things on purpose and not doing things we don't mean to do. Living an intentional life is how we achieve the greatness that Pope Saint John Paul II spoke about.
When I am not living with intentionality, I can drift through life without achieving much at all. My 16-year-old Maggie is very intentional. She wants to get good grades and studies every night so that she can go to college and become a therapist. She wants money to spend and got a job at Walmart three days a week. She knows she needs downtime so she doesn't get too stressed, and she leaves time in her schedule for that. She is intentional about doing things today to have a successful future.
Another perspective on intentionality is related to our faith. Am I intentional about my walk with God? Can I be as driven about living my faith with purpose as Maggie is about achieving career success? And what might that even look like?
Our lives are multifaceted. Having intentionality means that every facet is directed to God. So let's look at that. What are the areas of my life that I can live with intentionality? Here are some ideas.
Worship. This is the most obvious area. We intentionally go to church on Sundays. Most of us don't just find ourselves there without intending to go. We get up early, put on our Sunday clothes, and drive to church. Showing up is intentional. What about the worship part? Do I arrive early to pray? Am I fully participating in the worship of God? Do I sing? Do I listen intently to the scripture readings? Am I expecting to hear a message from the priest or deacon that I need to hear? Am I reverent in receiving Communion? Am I patient with little children who make noise around me, showing the love of Jesus to them and their parents so that they know they are welcome? Am I focused on God during the Mass or service, or do I get distracted by the people around me? Intentional worship is more than showing up. It's about being present and open to whatever God has for you.
Prayer. Paul teaches us to pray without ceasing. We speak to God all day long. In traffic, while fixing dinner, helping the kids, when we are stressed or in pain, when we see a beautiful sunset. Those are times we naturally lift our hearts and minds to God. When it's natural, it's habitual. We have developed a habit of speaking to God throughout the day. But we should also dedicate time for prayer when we are not doing anything else. No multitasking. When I'm multi-tasking, it's kind of like taking Jesus along for the ride, like He's an extra passenger in the car. But when I sit down in my prayer space, and there's nothing else to do but be with Him, that's intentional. I am totally His. We need that kind of time with Jesus.
Friendships. When our kids are young, we are careful about who we let them play with. We are intentional. We know they can be led astray by the wrong crowd. That's true for adults as well. How intentional are we about the people we spend time with? Do they draw us upward or pull us down? If they are pulling us down, do we distance ourselves or try to become light in the darkness? When our friendships are intentional, we choose to spend time with those who can be a good influence or those we can serve. If we do that for our kids, we must also do it for ourselves.
Service. This is a place where we can get very busy if we are not intentional. There are always ways to serve. In just one week, I have been approached about five different opportunities to serve, and I want to do them all. But… just because they ask doesn't mean I should say yes. Too many good things is a spiritual attack. I have to discern. What is God calling me to do? Is my life rightly ordered? But also these practical questions: How much time will it take? When will I have to be available? For how long? What else is going on at that time? I can focus on the practical questions and not spend time discerning what God wants for me. Intentional service means I consider my gifts and the opportunities, and I pray for a word about where to serve and when. Then I do it cheerfully.
Technology. Often, when I have a few minutes to wait, I scroll on my phone out of habit. It's not intentional. Boredom opens a door to sin, and technology is the way through that door. Technology can be a tool for good or for evil. One-third of all internet use is directed to pornography. That's a bad use. But we can also look up a Bible verse, a Catechism quote, or learn about a saint. We can listen to Bible in a Year with Fr. Mike Schmitz. We can watch great movies of faith. Being intentional about our use of technology means choosing to use it to connect with God, build faith, and serve others.
Giving. Money matters. Churches need donations to keep the doors open. Charities need donors who support their cause financially. There are a lot of groups asking for our financial support. We can't give to everyone. With intentional giving, we ask God in advance to give us someone to bless. My cousin Scott carries twenty-dollar bills so that he can bless those he sees during the day. That's intentional. If we give money to someone begging, we can sit with them, ask about their life, ask how we can pray for them, or ask if they mind if we say a prayer over them. That's intentional. We can think about the charities we want to support and see how our donation can be most helpful. Can we multiply our gift—or allow God to multiply it? Here's an example. The people who funded our parish retreat to the Augustine Institute could have simply written a check to them. A donation to allow them to use it as they thought best. But our donors used that money to bring 48 people to a retreat. They were able to change the lives of 48 people through that donation. We came back changed, and we want to share with others. It blessed the Augustine Institute, the 48 people who went on retreat, and others in our parish and family that we told about our experience. That is intentional giving.
Conversations. How can I be intentional in the conversations I have? I can be fully present to each person I encounter. Smile. Listen. Make eye contact. Bless. Receive. Love. Can I be 100% focused on the person I'm with? It can be hard. One day after Mass, I had three different people who wanted to talk to me, and another person waiting for me in a meeting. It was hard to keep my focus on one person at a time, but that's what I'm called to do if I want to be intentional. One person couldn't wait for me to finish my conversation, and they will catch up with me later. I'm okay with that. When Noah is talking, I have to decide to put down my phone. I want him to know that what he's saying is important to me. This is how we show love to others, how we show they matter, that they are heard. It's intentional.
Sometimes things happen that are not intentional. We suffer consequences because we do something dangerous without meaning to. We speak harshly because we're stressed, and that offends someone. We didn't mean to offend, but we did. We get involved in something forbidden in the Bible, like psychics, spirit guides, and tarot cards that can open a door to the demonic. I didn't mean to open the door, but it was opened anyway. Or I react in the moment to what's happening, and my reaction is not good and holy. Reactions are bad. Being intentional is good.
That's my challenge to you today. Be intentional in all you do. The intention is to know, love, and serve God. The more moments each day that we have with intentional focus, the more we grow in holiness. And that's what we are called to do. We are called to be great saints. And we can do it! On purpose!
Questions for prayer:
Where is it easy to be intentional every day and why?
In what area do I struggle to be intentional, and how can I make progress there?