Colleen Orchanian

I went on retreat at the Augustine Institute in Florissant, Missouri, last weekend. I wasn't excited about going. It was a long ride—ten hours on a bus each way. The topic wasn't a huge draw for me—Biblical Spirituality for the Laity: The Liturgical Year. That didn't sound all that exciting. And I would be gone from early Friday morning until late on Sunday, leaving my husband to take care of the kids all alone while working. Of course, he is perfectly capable of that, but I know it can be exhausting.

So, given all that, you may wonder how I ended up on the retreat. Here's the rest of the story.

Will I Stay or Will I Go?

A couple in our church came to me with an idea. They wanted to offer the parish a free retreat to the Augustine Institute. They were chartering a bus that could accommodate 50 people and would pay the retreat fees. This was an incredibly generous gift to the parish. They asked if I would coordinate the marketing and sign-up for the retreat, as they wanted to remain anonymous. I was happy to do that. At the time, I didn't commit to being on the bus, but I would take care of the details to fill the bus.

I told my mother about the retreat, and she said she wanted to go. This was a shock to me. She is 91 years old, and a ten-hour bus ride is hard on the body. But she was going, even if I was not. Or maybe I was. Still not convinced.

I created a booklet for retreatants to use before, during, and after the trip. There were questions to ponder on the bus ride there, note pages for each of the talks, and reflection questions for the ride home. Doing that gave me more of a desire to be part of the weekend.

People were signing up and were so excited about the opportunity to go as a parish, for free. Maybe I did want to go. Still not 100% convinced.

So I discerned. I prayed. I thought about how my husband might respond to the possibility of holding down the fort alone for 3 days—on a weekend. That's not easy because we are seniors, not young parents. God was quietly calling me to go, and my husband encouraged me. And so I did.

Experiencing the Augustine Institute

Before going on retreat, we have some expectations about what it might be like, what we might learn, and how we might grow. I confess that I didn't have any of those expectations. I understood the liturgical year and had learned a lot about my Catholic faith over the years. What more could I learn? If you're thinking, "That's kind of arrogant," you are right. I wasn't so arrogant that I thought I could do the talks, but I was doubtful about what I would learn. And I was so, so wrong.

The presenters were Dr. Tim Gray and Dr. Ben Akers, both brilliant Bible scholars. They took us through every liturgical season. What is it for? What special days fall in that season? What are the Mass readings and why? How does the season draw us into the life of the Church and the life of Christ? How does the season reflect the story of salvation history? What can we do during that season to grow closer to God?

That still doesn't sound very exciting, does it? It could actually be quite boring, especially if the talk was given like a college lecture. But that is not at all how they approached it. There surely was a lot of head knowledge, but the power lay in the way they spoke about the liturgical year. Everything was infused with a love for God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Their passion for God, love for Him, love for sacred Scripture, and love for Holy Mother Church came through in every word spoken. They don't just know the Bible. They don't just know about the liturgical year. They know our Lord, and they want others to know Him, too. They are on fire with the Holy Spirit. It's exciting to be around people like that.

So the first thing I learned from this retreat is that it doesn't matter what the topic is. If the speakers love God, and that love is expressed in how they speak, you will be blessed. I used to think I had to pick the right topic, but I may have been wrong about that. It's more important to have the right speaker.

Something else I loved about the retreat is the campus itself. The Augustine Institute is on over 500 acres, with a first-class facility, great food, and beautiful surroundings. Nine miles of walking and nature trails. The facility lends itself to prayer and praise. The story of how this property came into the hands of the Institute is miraculous. God's providence is all over it. I won't explain all that, but it's worth investigating.

The staff are kind, cheerful, welcoming, accommodating. We were running late on the first day and didn't expect to arrive until 20 minutes before the first session. It would be impossible to get everyone off the bus, into their rooms, and to the meeting hall on time. So they changed the schedule. And they never seemed disturbed by anything. They lived in the Spirit, not in an agenda.

I heard one thing in the welcome talk that I had never heard before. Dr. Tim was telling us about the grounds, how to get around, places we might want to walk, and he said, "You're safe here." As I think about that now, it means more. It means that we were physically safe. We could walk around the grounds without fear. But even more, we were safe to be open to what God wanted to do in us. We didn't have to defend our ideas or beliefs to anyone. We could be authentic. This is so important because when we feel safe, we are open to God's movement in our lives, in our hearts, and in our souls.

Another aspect of the retreat that touched me is the sacraments. We had daily Mass, Confession, Morning and Night Prayer, and Adoration. I was especially moved by Confession. There was a line of chairs along the wall leading up to the confessionals, which were in a short hallway. We moved over one chair at a time until we were facing the hallway. I looked down the hall, and there was the image of Divine Mercy, Jesus, blessing me, waiting for me to visit Him in the sacrament of Reconciliation. It was perfect.

Masses were simple, and the music was ideal. Each hymn pointed to God. It wasn't about us coming together, or us doing good works, or us being peace in the world. Those are great songs, but they are about us. The Mass is about God, the glory of God, the power of God, the perfect love of God, and the holiness of God. The music enhanced the Mass in a way that took the focus off of me/of us, and put it where it belongs—on God.

Heading Down from the Mountaintop

On our bus ride home, we created a thank-you gift for those who financed the trip. We had an empty journal, and each person wrote a note sharing specifically how the retreat affected them. It was our way of giving a gift back to those who had been so generous to us.

A few days later, in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament, I reviewed my notes to discern what actions I would take given what I had learned. After all, it's good to learn, but we also need to act on that new knowledge. My plan is to use the nightly Examen to reflect on something unique during each liturgical season. For example, during the Christmas season, I will ask, "Where did I bring light into the world today? Or miss an opportunity to do that?" That question comes from the truth that Jesus is the Light of the World. The Light shines in the darkness. I want to be deliberate about being light in darkness. I have a specific question for the evening Examen during each season. I think that will help me live the liturgical year more intentionally.

I have been on retreats before, sometimes with small groups of friends, but never with this many people. Ours is a small parish, and 50 people who are set afire with the Holy Spirit can have a powerful impact. You meet new people, learn things together, and get a dose of the Holy Spirit who enlightens you. You return home to be "ambassadors for Christ" in your little corner of the world.

Think Big!

Consider chartering a bus and going on a retreat together! Go to the Augustine Institute. You may not have a donor like ours (although I think every church has some), but maybe your parish can pay for the bus and people pay their retreat fees. This is possible. Bring your priest or deacon. They, too, will be enriched.

So often we don't ask for big things. Years ago my pastor, Fr. Juan Areiza, asked me why we hadn't taken a group to World Youth Day. It was in Brazil that year. I was like, we couldn't do that. We aren't big enough to make that happen. I still remember his words to me: "Think big." And I did. We were at the next World Youth Day in Poland with 20 young people.

Think big! You can do this in your parish. You can charter a bus and raise the money to pay for it. You can get a bus full of people who want to go. You can ride for 10 hours on a bus and still be able to walk afterwards.

When we returned home at the end of the retreat, tired, sore, and hungry, my 91-year-old mother said, "I would do it again." And as we talked about the retreat, I got excited about it all over again. I met with the group a few days after returning, and all agreed that we need to do it again and bring more people.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. The retreat at the Augustine Institute touched me and all those I travelled with. I strongly encourage you to pray about whether God is calling you to go on retreat with a group from your parish. There are lots of reasons not to do that, but those may be spiritual attacks to keep you from following God's plan. To keep you from thinking big. To keep you from a spiritual experience that can transform your entire parish, even if only a small group goes on retreat. You become the leaven in the parish, and you only need a small amount of leaven to make a difference.

Questions for prayer:

• Is God calling you to go on retreat?

• If so, are you supposed to bring a busload of people along with you?

• How can you fund a retreat that allows many people to attend together?