Colleen Orchanian

Why is Satan so successful in the spiritual battle? Because we are human beings who want to be satisfied, even when we want what is not good for us. We have heart disease and add salt to our food. We have diabetes and eat ice cream every day. We are overweight but don’t feel like exercising. We know what we should be doing but just don’t do it. If there isn’t immediate gratification, we aren’t inclined to take action.

The enemy uses this human inclination for comfort and satisfaction to attack us. And so, in response—and in anticipation—we must learn to control our passions, to practice self-denial. We can easily judge an addict who can’t say no. Are we as critical of our own indulgences? Are we any more likely to say no?

Jesus said, “Deny yourself. Pick up your cross.” We need strength to do that.

I am weak by nature. I don't want a cross, or maybe I'll take a small cross. That's because I'm weak, but God wants me to grow stronger. A bodybuilder isn't born that way. They work out to become stronger. We must do the same. We need to grow physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Self-denial is the key.

Self-denial is a practice where we develop the habit of resisting our desires and bearing adversity patiently. This weapon will bear great fruit in the spiritual battle. We won’t fall into temptation as frequently. We will be open to grace when suffering. We will have more holy conversations instead of gossiping. We will receive criticism with humility. So many spiritual attacks will be harmless.

There are two aspects of self-denial: penance and mortification.

Penance

Many of us are familiar with the word “penance.” It’s what we are given at the end of Confession. Penance is something we do in reparation and sorrow for sin, either ours or another’s. (Reparation means repairing). Through penance, we are repairing the break in our relationship with God. It’s like saying, “I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you.”

In reality, we can never fully make up for a sin or offense against God. If I break a neighbor’s window, I can pay to have it repaired, but what about the hassle they have to go through in that process? What about the fear they might have of a break-in? What about our relationship, which is strained because of my carelessness? Those things can’t be fixed with a little money.

In the same way, our penance cannot fully repair the break in our relationship with God. We don’t have the capacity for that. Only God can bring us back into relationship with Him. Penance is our feeble way of expressing sorrow and humbly asking God for mercy. Many years ago, my father climbed the mountain at Medjugorje barefoot as a self-imposed penance for his many sins. It didn’t undo the damage caused by those sins, but it reflected his sorrow at offending God and others.

One interesting and blessed aspect of penance is that we can do it for the sins of others. I can pray a rosary for my child who is on the wrong path. I can help at church for my spouse, who doesn’t believe. I can climb a mountain in sorrow for all those who blaspheme 'God. Through our sacrifice, we are asking for God’s mercy on those we love. We beg that our work, our offering, will make up in some small way for their offenses.

Mortification

Mortification is a way of disciplining our bodies so we can better resist temptation. We develop self-control, patience, a long-term mindset. We unite our suffering with Christ's on the cross because when we deny ourselves something we want, that is suffering. What do we want? Food or alcohol, attention, recognition or adulation, comfort, security, healthy bodies, people who make our lives easier. When we practice mortification, we deny ourselves something.

There are two types of mortification: Active and Passive.

Active mortification is when we willingly sacrifice. I fast from meat on Fridays. I give up candy for a specific intention. I give up my desire to talk in a conversation with someone who needs a listening ear. I give up my way of doing something and allow an alternative without making a big deal about it. I smile and warmly greet someone who has been unkind to me in the past. I let my husband decide what we have for dinner, and I don’t mention that I don’t like it. These are examples of active mortification. I choose something that I don’t really want. I choose my own suffering.

Passive mortification is different. It’s when we accept suffering or difficulties that come our way through the trials of life. We live one of the spiritual works of mercy: bearing adversity patiently. King David shows us the way. He is fleeing Jerusalem, and one of Saul’s relatives is cursing and throwing stones at him. One of David’s men offers to lop off the head off the man, but David says no. “Maybe God has told him to do this.” He accepts the abuse without attacking back.

Passive mortification is deal well with suffering. The greatest saints are those who have suffered well.

What is suffering? It can be an illness—anything from a head cold to cancer. It can be a broken relationship—divorce, estranged children, addiction. It can be a difficulty at work that creates stress or a mental health crisis. It can be material poverty—not enough food to eat, no shelter. It can be something as simple as a traffic jam. Whenever things don’t go our way, there is suffering. Sometimes it is great suffering and other times just an annoyance. Passive mortification allows us to deal with the suffering in a holy way, to allow suffering to bear fruit.

If we want this weapon to be battle-ready, we have to suffer well. That means:

We don’t complain. That’s hard. When I’m stuck in traffic, I want to yell at the other drivers. When someone isn’t following my instructions, I want to chastise them. I had shingles once, and it was very painful. I wanted to complain, not that it would make any difference in the level of pain, but others needed to know I was suffering. Mortification means I don’t do any of that.

We don’t take it out on others. In the movies, when someone is in labor, often she yells at her husband, letting him know all the things he’s done wrong over the years. I am less patient when I’m suffering, and that means I can be a little short with those I love. Mortification allows us to love others even in our pain.

We surrender the situation to God. That’s not to say we don’t try to fix things, but sometimes there is no fixing. The traffic is still backed up. I took the medicine and still have the pain of shingles. The addict is still using. I still have PTSD. The suffering remains. Mortification is giving this suffering to God, uniting it with the suffering of Jesus on the cross and offering it for the needs of another person. For example, we can offer our PTSD suffering for a soldier who is struggling with depression. Suffering should never be wasted. It can be redemptive, just like the suffering on the cross.

The difference between penance and mortification is the intention. In penance, I am intending to make up for a sin—mine or someone else’s. In mortification, I intend to train my body to deny immediate gratification and accept what God has permitted. I seek to use self-denial (whether penance or mortification) as a path to holiness.

There are some wrong ways to approach self-denial.

1. Bargaining. I'll give this up, God, if you answer this prayer. We can't manipulate God.

2. Duty. I fast because it's what I am supposed to do. I become the elder brother of the Prodigal Son. God wants us to act out of love, not obligation.

3. Publicly. I tell others about my fasting so they admire me. Jesus cautioned the disciples about fasting so others can see you.

We want to strive for pure intention, self-denial out of love for God and others. We may not have that now, but we can ask God for it.

We all have this spiritual weapon available to us. It may not be battle-ready. I may need to go to my spiritual gym more regularly to grow stronger. I may need to deny myself more often and more deliberately. With the grace of God, I can do this, and so can you. Give it up!

Questions for prayer:

1. How often do you freely sacrifice something to God? Can you see how these sacrifices have been fruitful in your spiritual journey?

2. What can you do to make this weapon more effective in your spiritual arsenal?