Colleen Orchanian

While praying for those I love the other day, I wondered how I could bring them closer to God. Don't we all want that for those closest to us? I have listened to talks and read books about how to evangelize, but it doesn't seem to be working. Maybe you can relate.

So then I thought, What about me? For twenty years, I was drifting, and God was not part of my life. I believed He was real, but that belief didn't affect me - my behavior, my decisions, how I spent my time. If you knew me back then, you would not see any difference between me and an unbeliever. So how did I get from there to where I am today, 27 years later? Maybe if I could see my path, it would help me know what I can do for others who are lost like I was.

Here is my story—my journey of faith.

I was raised Catholic, in a family that went to church every Sunday. I always believed in God because that was part of my foundation. When I went to college, I continued to attend Mass at the Newman Center on campus, although I wasn't involved in anything more than that. I stopped going to church, graduated, got married, moved, and got a "real job."

Life got busy, and I didn't see the need for church. I still believed in God, and now and then, I prayed the memorized prayers I was taught as a child. Maybe I prayed when I needed something, but even that didn't happen very often. God was a concept, like gravity, and I didn't think about Him all that much. If I had to name this time of my life, I would call it Ignorance. I didn't know what I didn't know. I didn't miss what I didn't have because I didn't know it existed. I know lots of people in this place, this Ignorance. I was there for 20 years, and I hate that those I love are there now. I don't want them to waste time like I did.

That leads to the question: What happened? How did the fire in my soul get sparked? What moved me out of that state of Ignorance? And if I know what did it for me, can that be useful in getting the fire started in others?

What triggered my journey of faith was a comment from a friend, Mary Claire. Her intention was not to get me to church or tell me about God, so this wasn't a deliberate, planned evangelizing conversation. She didn't target me because she thought I needed to be saved. She was asking me to help her grow in holiness, without ever saying those words. We were on a motorcycle ride and had stopped for a rest. I began a conversation about a mutual friend, and it was 100% gossip. Mary Claire stopped me and asked if we could talk about something else because she had just gone to Confession and was trying not to gossip any more. That conversation reminded me that I had not been to Confession for 20 years, and it might be time for that. Within the next few months, I went to Confession. Mary Claire and I started going to Mass on Sundays when we were on group motorcycle rides. The guys would go to breakfast, and we went to church. The original conversation with Mary Claire was God reaching out to me through a friend.

That was a turning point in my life. It began what I call my Worship stage. I went from Ignorance to Worship. I was still pretty ignorant, but at least I was going to church on Sundays. Every Sunday. And I actually thought I was doing great. What a good Catholic I was! I was there every Sunday! I was quite proud of myself for a while. This stage lasted for about 5 years.

During this time, my husband and I were blessed to have a child after 20 years of marriage. That was a miracle (and a story for another time). Tommy was baptized in the Catholic Church. I brought him to Mass with me on Sunday. We moved from a suburb of Atlanta to a small town in the North Georgia Mountains, near my parents. My father was a deacon in our parish and led Adoration every Monday night. They invited me to attend, and so I did. Here's where the ignorance part returns. I had no idea what to do at Adoration. I watched what others did, read a book sometimes, and prayed the rosary, which I hadn't known how to pray before. But even though I was ignorant, I showed up. They invited me to attend a group for returning Catholics, Catholics Come Home, which helped me learn more about my faith.

I started out in this stage very satisfied with myself and my faith. I was doing well. I was showing up. That was fine for a few years, but at some point, I realized there was more, and I wanted it. A book that triggered the next stage of my faith was Rediscover Catholicism by Matthew Kelly. . I don't remember how I came to have the book, but I do remember what I felt when reading it. It was excitement. All the things I didn't know, the questions I couldn't answer from those who rejected the Catholic Church, were answered in that book. If I had gotten the book five years earlier, I wouldn't have read it. I wasn't ready. God knew when I was ready, and the book appeared, and I opened it up. That was the beginning of my Apologetics stage.

It was a very exciting time. I was a sponge, taking in all the information I could about what it meant to be Catholic, what we believed, why we believe it. I spent a ton on books and CDs about being Catholic. I soaked it all in. So it was exciting, and at the same time, I was always in battle mode. Always ready for a fight. Always looking for someone who wanted to speak badly about the Catholic Church. I was ready for an argument and loved it when I won. This was an important stage for me because I needed to know what I believed and why. Otherwise, I couldn't grow in my faith. At the same time, I wasn't doing this to grow closer to God. It was all about me. And winning the argument. My motivation was not a good one, but God used it anyway.

This stage blended into a time of Service. I volunteered at church, taught classes on how to defend the faith, led Bible study, taught Sunday school, and eventually got hired as the Director of Religious Education at my parish. I am still in a time of service today, as we all should be, but how I serve is different. And why I serve is different. I am more discerning today. What does God want me to do? I can't say yes to everything. (Believe me, I tried.)

The thing about the early time of Service for me is that I wanted to be involved, but that desire wasn't driven by my personal relationship with Jesus. And I don't know that even understood what that meant. Or that I didn't have it. I understood the Bible. I knew the Catechism of the Church. I knew a lot of stuff about God. But I didn't yet have God as the center of my life. I was busy with church things. Church was the center. And God was part of Church, but I wasn't nurturing my relationship with Him. So in this early time of service, I was satisfied with how I was serving. It was great. But there came a point when I thought there was more. Something I didn't yet have or know about.

I knew something was missing when I was on a summer field trip with my son through another church. As we were driving in the church van, we came upon an accident that had stopped traffic. I think it was pretty bad, although I don't remember the details about that. What I remember is that one of the adults on the bus said, "We need to pray for them." And she led us all in prayer. I thought I want to do that. I want to go immediately to prayer when I see something bad happen. That wasn't a natural response for me at the time.

Another incident around the same time happened when I was teaching a workshop on time management for parents at a Christian school. One of the activities was to write down the priorities in your life. When I asked people to share their priorities, two of the women said the one at the top was God. At the time, that would not have been at the top of my list, even though I was doing a lot of service for God in the church. But God wasn't at the top, at least not consciously. And that's where He belonged. And I knew it. And I wanted it.

Those two experiences brought me to a different stage, which I call Deeper. I didn't want to just know about God, I wanted to know God. I wanted a vibrant prayer life. I wanted God in the center, even though I couldn't have told you what that meant. And so I went in search of God. More Bible study, but different. More spiritual reading. More meditation and prayer. Listening to others talk about their relationship with God. This totally changed my life. When you go deeper with God, He will ask more of you. How can your life stay the same when you fall in love? It can't. It's an exciting time when God is awakening something deep in you. A different kind of excitement than the apologetics stage. So much better.

And that Deeper stage continues today. Because of it, I am in another stage that I'll call Sharing. It could be called witnessing or teaching or helping others. It's when we are called to reach out to spread the Good News. So God called me to write. I now have four books and am working on the fifth. I write a podcast and a blog each week. I do spiritual direction and facilitate small groups to help people grow closer to God. It's amazing how God is using me today. I love it.

That's where I am today. I do not know where I'll be in ten years. Only God knows that. He hasn't given me a ten-year plan. Just something for now. And that's okay.

So… That answers the question: How did I get here?

It was all God—and His grace. But he worked through the people in my life, without them actually knowing they were part of His plan for me. They were not doing it for me. They were just being themselves and living a life centered on God. They were witnesses by their lives, not just by their words. We can all do that. And we should.

And God heard the prayers of those who loved me, especially my parents, who prayed every day for years. They continue to pray for me today, Mom here on earth and Dad in Heaven. They pray for me always.

And I pray for those I love and always will. I want everyone to go deeper. And I know I cannot make it happen. My job is to pray, to be patient, to trust in God's timing, to trust in His plan. And to live my faith every day. To pray with people, not just for them. To talk about what God is doing and has done in my life. To be a witness in the world by the way I live. To encourage people. To let them know how much God loves them. To spread the message of Divine Mercy. To challenge false images of God. To help others see how the enemy of their soul is working to pull them away from God. To speak the truth with love. I can be one of those people who is a light along the road for another seeker, even when I don't realize it. That's what we believers do.

And that's where I am. Praise God!

Questions for prayer

1. What have been the turning points in your life? How has your spiritual progress happened? Thank God for those who have been lights along the way for you.

2. How can you be more aware of the opportunities God gives you to witness to others by the way you live your life? And how can you be bolder in living for God every day?