Healing Part 3 - Obstacles
Fernando Mendoza's final touchdown in the national championship for college football was amazing. He's the quarterback for Indiana, and when the ball was snapped, he saw an opening and weaved through defenders, spun off a linebacker and almost fell, but regained his balance and dove into the end zone. If he hadn't already won the Heisman, this would have been his Heisman moment. All those obstacles, and he came through, getting the final touchdown.
Our lives are full of obstacles. They may not be as obvious and aggressive as Fernando's, but they are present. With healing, we face tremendous obstacles because our enemy, the devil, does not want us to be healed. Identifying the obstacles is the first step. Once we know who and what is in the way, we can overcome them.
False Obstacles to Healing
The devil raises four false obstacles to healing. These are not true obstacles, but lies to keep us from seeking the healing that God wants for us. They are:
You are praying wrong. Not enough or not the right way. If you prayed better or more, you would be healed. It's your fault.
You don't have enough faith. If you did, you would have been healed already. It's your fault.
You aren't worthy of healing. If you were a better person, God would heal you. It's your fault.
God doesn't care about you. If He did, you would be healed. It's God's fault.
Those are all lies. When we believe the lies, we can't see the true obstacles, and healing is difficult.
True Obstacles to Healing:
There are five major obstacles that block healing. There may not be an obvious connection between the obstacle and the source of your wound, but that doesn't mean the obstacle is not there. As you read further, ask if there is any trace of each obstacle in your heart. That will help you create a plan for healing.
Obstacle #1: Unforgiveness
The first and greatest obstacle to healing is unforgiveness. We can't be healed without it. We pray in the Our Father: Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. We sin, and others sin against us. We hope for mercy, and we are commanded to show mercy to others.
Unforgiveness can make us sick. A friend got stomach cancer at a young age. He was convinced it was because he had unforgiveness toward his ex-wife, who had been unfaithful. His bitterness ate away at him.
What is forgiveness? St. Terese of Lisieux said that you must be able to pray for those who have hurt you until you feel joy every time you pray for them. St. Augustine wrote that forgiveness is the willingness to surrender one's right to revenge. It's a choice. Not an emotion.
I was looking at photos from the COVID days when my son was a senior in high school. He was in cap and gown, wearing a mask. Just looking at the pictures made me angry. I was angry about what he had missed in his senior year. I thought I was over that. Had I not forgiven the powers-that-be who decided about masks and graduation? My friend Linda reminded me that anger was not necessarily an indicator of unforgiveness. Emotions are not the measure.
We live in a time heavy with emotions. Feelings rule the world. But that's not right. A better way to think about whether you have unforgiveness is to consider how much baggage you're carrying because of the wound. I don't have a lot of baggage about COVID. I can be angry about what happened without packing a bag to carry for the rest of my life.
Sometimes we don't forgive because we don't know what it means. Here's what it does not mean.
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Reconciliation. We should not reconcile with someone who abused us, nor continue to allow them to abuse us. That would mean we are endangering ourselves and enabling them in their sin. God would not want us to be harmed, nor the other person to continue to destroy their soul.
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Forgive and forget. We can't forget the harm done to us or to someone we love. We can't forget a physical attack, betrayal, or abandonment. Forgiveness is possible without forgetting.
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Minimize the wrong. When I forgive someone, I'm not saying the harm didn't matter. That it was no big deal. A priest once said to me in confession, "That is a very grave sin, and God forgives you." He wasn't minimizing what I had done, which is good because it would have been a lie to do that.
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Applies only when the person is sorry. Father Carlos Martins was counseling a woman who had been abused as a child. She was having great difficulty with forgiveness because she didn't understand what it meant. He told her, "Your abuser took from you something he had no right to take. He has incurred a debt because of it. Even if he wanted, he could never repay that debt to you or restore what he took. When you forgive, you release him from that debt, turning it over to Jesus, and ask Jesus to make good on it." That's a great way to think about forgiveness.
When we forgive, we are building up treasures in heaven. When we don't forgive, we are collecting baggage to carry here on earth.
Obstacle #2: Unbelief
Sometimes we don't receive healing because we don't ask for it. And we don't ask because we don't believe it is possible. Jesus complained about the people of Capernaum who didn't seek healing because of their unbelief. Scripture tells us He could not do many miracles there.
Some people, especially in the US, don't believe in miracles. They don't believe God will heal them or those they love. But if you listen to stories of missionaries, they tell of great miracles just like those in the Bible. The blind see, the deaf hear, the dead are raised; the lame can walk. You can read of the miracles of Lourdes, Medjugorje, Mexico City, and Fatima. We have to believe in the possibility of being healed. Otherwise, we won't even ask.
Always pray for healing, and for God's will to be done in your life. And believe that it is possible.
Obstacle #3: Ego/Pride
Egotism or pride can be an obstacle because it keeps us from asking others to pray for us. We don't want to reveal our need, our hurt, our pain. But Jesus calls us into community so that we can support each other. Part of that support is prayer. I pray for my brothers and sisters in the faith. And they pray for me.
But there is a part of me that hesitates. I know I need to pray in a particular way, but I don't want to put that out there. It's too vulnerable. I need to look like I have it all together, when everyone knows that I don't. So who am I fooling, right?
My dad had a gift of healing and was quick to pray with anyone who asked, but it was really hard for him to ask others to pray for him. He hated to ask for help, but he learned that allowing others to pray over him and help him was a great gift to them and to him. He had many healings in his life, but he had to keep his ego in check.
Obstacle #4: Spiritual Arrogance
This is an attitude of entitlement. If I go to Mass every Sunday, God should answer my prayer. If I pray a novena, God should answer my prayer. If I choose the right saint, God should answer my prayer through them. I've done my part. Now God has to do His. It's a contract. But that isn't how it works. God owes me nothing. Quite the opposite. I owe Him everything.
Healing is not an escape from suffering (although that's part of it). It is an invitation to intimate union with Jesus, the Divine Physician. If we can rethink our understanding of suffering, we can experience healing in ways we don't know we need. We can accept whatever God wants for us, even if it isn't the specific healing we pray for.
Obstacle #5: Quick-Fix Solutions
Sometimes we go down a dangerous path to get healing from someone or something other than God. This never brings true healing. It might bring short-term healing, followed by a greater problem down the road. Quick fixes are things like alcohol, drugs, and psychedelics. They numb the physical or emotional pain, but many bad things follow. We might try new-age remedies like crystals, charms, or shamans. These all open doors to the demonic and don't provide healing. Even if there is an initial benefit, the devil will extract a price later on, and we will be much worse off. We have to trust in God's timing and providence.
With all that said, even if none of those obstacles are present, and we're storming the gates of heaven with prayer, we may not see the healing we desire. We can't know why that is. We can't know the mind of God. When we don't get what we want, we have to trust God's will. When our image of God is true and we know Him to be a good Father who loves us perfectly, we can accept whatever outcome we get. We can ask Him to heal us in the way most beneficial for our souls. That is a prayer He will always answer.
Questions for prayer:
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Which of the obstacles to healing has been a problem for you in the past? Why?
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Which obstacle is present now and what can you do to overcome that obstacle.